Letter to my oldest daughter ⋆ I want to teach you so much...

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A few years ago I wrote this article that I called "letter to my oldest daughter." She was about to start high school at that point. A milestone, of course – I couldn't just pass it by without some semi-wise words from her daddy...

Almost 12 years

You are almost 12… and soon you will have to face the world. It seemed like yesterday that you were placed on Mama's stomach as a small, helpless creature and that we now had to take care of you. Lots of bottles, diapers, stuffed animals and league cakes later, the moment has come when you are almost going to secondary school.

A huge step forward for you and for us, as parents, another step back. Letting go. Until we are nothing but spectators of the life that is in your hands. But luckily it's not there yet.

You are already very wise and even a little grown up, but you still have so much to learn. And if you listen to me, I want to teach you those things too.

What I want to teach you

I want to tell you that your curls don't need to be combed out. You don't have to look like someone you know from TV. You are beautiful just the way you are, even if you don't believe that many people are jealous of your beautiful head of hair.

I want to tell you that you don't have to take off your clothes to be loved. That a selfie of your face is much nicer than one of your backside. And that you should never, ever think that it is normal how women are treated in music videos (Hellooo Jason Derulo – I'm talking to you!)

I have to teach you that there are bad people in the world. People who don't give others the light in their eyes. People who abuse or even kill others for the sake of… well, what exactly? I don't want to teach you this at all, but I have to. And reluctantly I will. And I will make you strong against these people. So that you are on your guard, without the light in your eyes also extinguishing for people who do stand for what is good.

You are beautiful just the way you are

I want to teach you that you don't have to walk with the crowd. Although I'm not really afraid of this in your case. I think you're beautiful with your black lipstick, even if you don't dare to wear it outside just yet. You have your mother's style and it looks even better on you than her if possible.

You're gorgeous in your Nirvana fishnet stockings, combat boots and t-shirt. (and not as a fashion accessory, but because you really love Kurt Cobain!) You are beautiful when you wear my shirt. You're beautiful when you don't care about fashion.

Girl, I'll teach you to stand up for your ideals, even if it means standing alone. That you always have to choose what is just, no matter how crooked the world around you is.

And… I especially want to teach you that you should enjoy. From your childhood. of your life. And of all the beautiful things the world has to offer. And that you can question everything you hear and come to your own conclusions. Even when your father says so.